When I was a kid, I used to hear a lot about self help tips and advice but I didn’t quite realize what it meant! Gradually when I came off age, I understood its importance.
Hello readers, today’s blog is about self help advice and some positive talk that would actually help you improve consistently.
Now it’s time for the Million dollar question – How to be a self help guru for yourself?
Do you need to waste your time journaling self improvement daily or maybe you need to attend some self help guru class or pour over self improvement journal prompts or keep reading books of self help. Undoubtedly, these materials and ways could help you learn few things but some of them might be misleading too.
To improve in a better way, you need to follow few tips and implement them in your life:
- Building realistic goals
I remember my friend had set up a target to lose 10 pounds a month and guess what?
She couldn’t do so! Which made her feel less confident on herself?
So don’t do that 🙂
Don’t think about achieving your targets in one shot! Try building small and logical goals– the ones which you could achieve easily and would make you feel worthy of yourself.
- Have a proper system to set it
Think, articulate and act!
Make sure you have a system or a systematic process to follow. Don’t just blindly romp with a belief to do miracles in a day.
- Don’t just let it be an action — make sure you work on it
“Action speaks louder than words”.
You really need to work on every aspect of improving your life. Work routinely and consistently. Give yourself some positive self talk affirmations.
- Start with baby steps
Did you ever see a kid learning bicycle for the very first time?
They peddle slowly to get it right!
Similarly, to gain proper balance and control of your life you need to do things slowly and patiently.
- Don’t stress yourself to be the best, know that there is a reason to everything
Never try to be the winning horse in the race.
There is no competition that you are bound to win. Nobody is betting for you. Take your own time to do things. Don’t push and exhaust yourself beyond which your condition becomes miserable.
- Too much of self help might turn into an obsession
“Excessive of everything is bad”
Self improvement is fine, but turning that into an obsession would lead you nowhere, so make sure you are aware of the activity you are about to do before doing anything.
- Don’t try to be great, try to be able
We all wish to do something remarkable in our lives but hey!
We forget that we are human beings and we need time to recover. We don’t have to do something great every time. I mean common — Nobody is asking you to be Shakespeare or Neil arm strong, it’s absolutely fine to be what you are and be able to do things that you like doing.
- Know yourself better, know what makes you happy
“Happiness is something that you are and it comes from the way you think”- quoted by the self help guru Wayne Dyer.
Its true isn’t it!
You need to find your own happiness, nobody could probably define that for you or how you want it to be. You could check some of the best quotes by dyer to find inspiration. It’s great indeed!
- Don’t make it a competition coz you get pissed off and tired
Don’t make this self improvement a fast and furious movie, please!
Because if you do, it would end up in the same way a movie does when you see it repeatedly.
Becomes boring, isn’t it?
Pro tip- Try keeping things regularly paced and do them slowly so that you don’t get bored of it. Try making it challenging—that would actually lighten up a spark in you.
During my post graduation days, whenever I used to hop into a supermarket – I tried to take all kinds of stuff both edible and non edible in one go so that I don’t have to worry for the week.
But you know what — out of the few things which I bought, majority of them landed up getting rotted!
So don’t repeat the mistake like mine.
Choose a particular topic or activity you want to go work on.
- Don’t give up on initial failure
Did you guys see the movie Spiderman?
The character – Peter parker, he failed so many times but he never gave up on his efforts. He kept trying until he succeeded.
So that’s the moral—when you try initially, you are bound to face failure — majority of times but that’s not an end, it just the beginning.
You read it right!
Save some sympathy for yourself. You don’t have to be harsh and do a court marshal for not being able to achieve things in your life at a speed in which you want to!
Shit happens—Take it easy dude!
Understand that you are not getting paid by anyone to develop yourself unlike a project. So if you want to learn something brilliant, then its better you approach it in a fun loving way.
- Too much of self help is bad
Understand that you are a human and you need to depend on others too for your work to be done.
When I faced lot of betrayals in relationships, I was frustrated like heck and promised myself never to depend on anybody to get my work done because it hurts when you expect and don’t get anything in return? But you know what — with time I realized that I don’t need to screw up myself for the mistake of someone else. It’s absolutely fine to depend on people ( reliant ones of course) for some thing or another.
Pro tip- Make it a point to draw a line between expectation and over expectations.
- Learn to balance (don’t be too positive or too negative)
Maintain a line between positivity and negativity. Excessive of either of them are dangerous. So be cautious. Don’t push things too much. A bit of positive talk to your self could do the magic!
- Learn to work with yourself first
The toughest job is to deal with yourself irrespective of whether you have a target or not. If you love yourself too much, you would become self centered and if don’t love yourself, you can’t achieve anything.
So balance these feelings equally by — speaking positive affirmations.
- Accept sufferings , don’t run away from reality
My best friend used to avoid things she didn’t like or when she had problems and tell herself that everything is fine. But ultimately when she used to get a reality check, she felt depressed.
So the moral– is facing the situation irrespective of good or bad. Don’t make yourself believe fake things or try to run away from it. It would do more damage than betterment.
- Look for permanent changes
Don’t settle for less. Look for lifelong learning and experiences because that would help you grow consistently.
- Never get caught up in a mess of anxiety disorders
The key to avoid anxiety is to avoid over thinking!
Anxiety is not a joke, I have been a victim myself and I know how tough it is to bear the situation. So don’t ever risk it.
Learn to calm yourself through meditation or some recreational activities.
- Trust yourself and be honest
Believe yourself blindly and have a sense of self responsibility.
Gradually with time you would reach your goal.
Life is unpredictable.
You need to check and cross check your activities in every aspect.
Follow these tips to tread on the path of self improvement.
Start by pepping yourself with positive talks and positive affirmations. Remember too much of self help is bad and harmful. So draw a line and choose a proper systematic process of doing it.
Write back to me how do you feel about these tips and whether you applied any of them.
I am looking forward to your stories.
Stay tuned for more! 🙂